Heinz Finds Love at the Dog Park!

My view:  How mortifying that Heinz spent most of his time at the dog park with his nose up another dog's behind, drooling.  Really.  Heinz, the dog who won't play, was glued to this other dog's tail -- they looked like one long dog with a set of legs in the middle.  And when Molly ( the Aussie/Border Collie Mix who was the object of Heinz's affections) would jump up on the dog ramp, Heinz would look up at her adoringly, wagging his little stubby tail like he does when we come home!  Don had to bring a towel from the car to wipe all of Heinz' drool off of Molly!

Heinz' view: I'm in love! Her name is Molly and she smells wonderful!  She has has the most beautiful blue eyes ever!  And the shiniest black hair!  And the most wonderful long tail!  And did I mention that she smells soooo goood!  I couldn't stop sniffing and drooling over her!  I think she likes me!  She didn't bark at me or chase me -- she just stood there looking beautiful.  I'm sooo happy -- I tried to go home with her!  I hope mom got her number!  I can't wait to see her again!

Walmart Moment in the Whole Foods Parking Lot

Ever been in a Walmart when women are screaming at their children, dragging them along and telling them to quit crying before "I give you something to cry about?"  Well imagine that -- then picture me as the Crazed Mom and Heinz as the Kid in Trouble. Then, instead of the Walmart, picture me at the Whole Foods store parking lot.

I had picked Heinz up from doggy prision, where he and Jake had been sentenced to six days because we went to TN for Thanksgiving.  It was cold and dark, and I'd told Don I'd go to Whole Foods to pick up groceries.  But I wanted to take Heinz out, and there's a nice dog store there, so I packed him up, and off we went!

Nice little visit to the dog store, and I left Heinz in the back of my Rav4 while I went to get groceries.  Since I ended up with three bags, I thought, in my infinite wisdom, that I should put the groceries in the back and put Heinz in the front (I harness him to the seat).  So I sat the groceries on the ground, opened the back of the Rav4 and started helping Heinz out. 

As Heinz was coming down over the groceries, he spied a loaf of bread and faster than you can say "oh no!" Heinz had chomped the loaf in a death grip.  I tried to pry his mouth open, while explaining that he just cannot have a loaf of bread wrapped in plastic!  I soon realized that I did indeed look like a maniac, wrestling with Heinz over a loaf of bread in the parking lot!

So I drag him around to the car to the front seat -- his jaws have not loosened one iota.  I get him into the front passenger seat -- and am still wrestling with him, when a women comes by to get in the car next to me.  She looks at me like I am a lunatic -- I can't imagine why!  I explain that the dog has a loaf of bread. She smiles and nods (and I expect goes off to call PETA). 

My efforts to pry the loaf out of his mouth are going nowhere, so I decide that I'll just have to rip the loaf apart.  So I start by ripping off the parts of the loaf that are hanging out both sides of his mouth -- and I throw it into the back of the Rav4.  Then I proceed to dig every possible piece of bread and plastic out of his locked jaws and throw them into the back.  Finally, I think that he will not die from asphixiation from plastic or constipation from bread, and I harness him in and go back to the groceries.

As I come around to the back of my Rav4, I see pieces of bread lying all over the parking lot!  Since I'd left the back open during my wrestling match, all the bread had gone flying out the back!   I had this vision of people walking back to their cars and ducking the pieces of flying bread -- great!

I hurriedly picked it all up, stuffed it into the back of my car and got outta there before PETA showed up!  So, if you hear anyone talking about seeing flying bread this week in the Whole Foods parking lot, they are not making it up!
 

Heinz Finally Is Best in Obedience Class -- At Jumping!

Let's just say Heinz is remarkably like our son when it comes to doing what we ask -- you can see him pondering the question, "What's in it for me?" Unlike Jake the Psycho Sheltie who does have an innate desire to please, Heinz is definitely a GenX dog!

Heel, sit, stay, down, etc. -- he'll randomly obey.  And we missed two weeks of class to go to Hawaii (amazing!).  So, at the end of this week's class, the instructor said, "Let's do something just for fun!".  He took out a low fence used in agility and explained that we'd teach the dogs to jump.  Teach Heinz to Jump?  That's like saying we are going to teach him to breathe!   

The instructor goes over what to do, and asks if anyone wants to try.  No one says anything -- I think they are just shy and no one wants to go first --- So I volunteer!  I go sprinting toward the obstacle, let out the lead and go around it while Heinz goes sailing over!  Perfect!    Yeahhhh Heinz! 

Too Undignified to be English! But Is a Truly Rare American Breed!

Well, apparently Heinz is not an English Cocker mix -- or English Cockers are simply too dignified to have "excited urination problems"!  Turns out that the consensus among both the English and American Cocker crowd is that he is an American Cocker -- but a relatively rare Blue Roan and is probably purebred.  (American Cockers are apparently quite well known for their urination problems -- now's a fine time to find that out!). 

Luckily, his handsome good looks and winning personality made up for a little dribble here and there (and the trainer is helping us!)  Wish us luck!

I'm So Excited, I Could Wet My Pants! Oh, I Don't Have Pants!

Nothing makes Heinz more excited than -- well, anything that involves a leash.  Thus, the mere picking up of the leash is liable to elicit a veritable torrent of excitement at our house!  Now we know why the other family couldn't afford to keep him -- it wasn't the food, it was the industrial size barrels of Nature's Miracle they needed to clean the rugs every time they took him out!

But we aren't as dumb as we look either -- so now we keep the leashes outside!  It's a lot easier to hose down the back deck than our rugs!  So we are now in "desensitization training" with Heinz and the leash, where we repeatedly pick up the leash and touch him.  He pees.  We do it again.  He pees.  We continue this until he stops peeing.  Then we touch him with the leash clip.  He pees. We do it again.  You get the picture. 

Luckily, the leash and greeting me or Don, are the only things that set this off.  The trainer said that some dogs have the amazing ability to roll over on their backs and spray everything around them!  He never does this when he meets strangers, so if you run into us on a walk or at the pet store, don't worry -- your shoes are safe!

Drinking from the Porcelain Fountain!

 

Wow -- isn't this great? There's a giant water bowl in that little room downstairs!  But I don't understand why someone is usually sitting on the water bowl when I go in there.  People are weird.

Who Me? I Didn't Make This Mess!

My side of the story -- a lovely little mess awaited me when I got home this afternoon!  Heinz had managed to somehow get his stubby little legs and lardo-butt up onto the counter and pull down a bag of dog toys!  He proceeded to chew up the paper mostly.  When he tired of that, it looks like he found a mousetrap that Don had neglected to retrieve after Mickey thought he'd found a safe refuge in our house this winter. 

Heinz' side of the story -- Yawwwnnn! That was a nice long nap.  Now what can I do?  I've managed to get the treats out of the treat ball.  I've chewed on my bone. Hmm.  What's the black thing stuck way under the stove.  Smells like peanut butter!  Let's rip that apart and see what's in there!  Well that didn't take long.  Hmmm.  What else is there to do around here?  Sniff, sniff.  Something smells like a tennis ball!  Now how in the world am I supposed to play with the tennis ball if it's in a bag on the counter?  Good thing I've got these really big feet!  I can get some good balance going on here, and oh, oh, I can almost reach the bag!  Oh, oh!  I've got it! Rip, shred! 
Life is good when you are surrounded by dog toys!